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Thank you for sharing. The quicker the better, fast food grieving, get over your grief in 10 minutes or less and your grief is free. I am NOT grieving. I am afraid of losing everybody I love, just afraid, wanting to stop doing but too scared to stop. My husband died a year ago and why does it still hurt so much? Thanks for helping me understand that grieving is not to be mastered or measured , it is to help me soften and feel the pain.

Danita, I am sorry about your husband. Your loss is for a lifetime. Nancy, my 97 year old mother passed away on the same date as you posted this comment. I received the call from the hospital about 40 minutes before your post was made. She was more than my mom.

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She had become my baby, the one I never had, and I miss her so much. Thank you. Denise, I am very sorry to hear about your mother. Thank you for sharing this sad news. Take care of yourself. These are great tips, Nancy, thank you. Some of these have helped me and I continue to practice them. The holidays always make me feel emotional and I often think about those who are no longer here. I generally grieve privately. I am presently grieving my friend who passed away last Sept. I recently visited her grave and it felt weird.

And of course, every loss hurts no matter what age. I hope each day is a little easier for you, Nancy.

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I am thinking of you. Becky, I truly believe grief is another form of love. Thank you for reading and letting me know those words resonated with you. Number 1—honor our grief, that is the one that gets lost most, I think.

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We have all these social norms or pressures and we try to conform, and it is very constraining. Anyway, thanks for the excellent tips. And yes, the social norms are quite constraining when it comes to grief too. Thank you for reading and sharing. Thinking about you all. And thank you, I do hope my post helps a tiny bit. It is now five years since my dear husband died, and although I now plan to make Christmas special I have no children or family for myself by travelling over Christmas with a group and by attending wonderful musical events and services, this year I felt the emotions of grief and loss even more acutely than I have other years.

That surprised me, but, after acknowledging the grief and its erratic dips and sideswipes, I did manage to have a lovely time. Perhaps the story book setting helped. The change helped, too. Thank you for making this a place where grief, even years down the road, can be expressed and acknowledged. All this is calming and freeing and comforting. Honey Bee, Thank you for your kind words. I am humbled by them. You expressed so well exactly what I want this space to be, a safe haven for all of us to just be. Again, thank you. My best to you in and beyond.

This is an excellent post with such helpful advice. I know she was just an animal, but for 15 years she helped me — through cancer treatment, divorce, and various other life changes. I cry for her regularly.

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I am so sorry about Cossette. She was more than just a cat, she was part of your family. She was part of your support system during some rough times.

And good times, too, of course. I always call Sophie and Elsie by secret keepers and eyewitnesses. They saw a lot. Wishing you good things and a healing heart in , my friend. Grief ebbs and flows.

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My parents are gone eight years now and little things will make me very sad all over again. You need to get beyond it. I blew up at her. Grief is not something that you can limit to a specific time or will away. Grief is not something you get over after a certain amount of time passes. Grief definitely ebbs and flows, sometimes taking us by surprise.

This is my 3rd set of holidays without my dad as well as my mom, who died years ago. The first Thanksgiving and Christmas after my mom died my dad wisely but without really pointing it out arranged for us to deviate from our usual holiday patterns. By the following year, while it was still wrenching, it felt o. I would strongly recommend considering something similar to anyone in the same situation. Give things time, stay kind and open and realize that equilibrium has been disturbed but can return eventually.


Things will never be the same again but they can be good, albeit in a different way. I, too, recommend looking for opportunities to be kind and generous of spirit. Putting something in the Salvation Army kettle, holding a door, sending someone a note, etc. When the world looks bleak and cold sometimes we have to be the light we need in the world. Your email address will not be published. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. But, we can find hikes anywhere we go.

Dinner was great and we enjoyed the chance to catch up with Marilyn. Unfortunately time passes quickly and we took Marilyn home and headed back to our RV. She is obviously concerned but said that his condition was stable for the time being. The doctors were trying to get his pancreas, which was inflamed, back to normal so they could do a CAT scan to see what was going on inside him that was causing his so much trouble.

Strictly's new professional Nancy Xu wears a racy red cut-out dress for rehearsals

There are other problems but this is the most serious right now. Yesterday we went into civilization to spend some time online and on the phone. We sat in a Starbucks, drank some coffee and savored a morning cinnamon roll.